I pulled the lid off the tote with eager anticipation. There is something about Christmas décor that puts a skip in my step. The smells of seasonal scents. The glow of the Christmas lights creating the perfect setting for reflection and writing. The joy found in holiday treasures.
The reds, greens, and golds drew me in. My fingers dug deep as I pulled out each item and mentally reflected on its story. Near the bottom sat an Advent candle setting. I brushed my fingers along the gorgeous angel base -“Prepare the Way of the Lord” - and remembered how much this simple decoration did, in fact, teach me of Christmas anticipation.
We first received this when the kids were very little. I'd put it on the dining room as centerpiece decor. As happens with tiny children, one reached for the fancy (unlit) candle and it snapped. Another's huge eyes looked up at me with curiosity. What is mom going to do with this?
I vividly remember not wanting to take the entire decoration down, but I also didn’t want to remove the candle and have people think I wasn’t smart enough to know how many Sundays there were in Advent. Shoutout to my perfectionist friends. So I left it there. Broken.
Each time I entered the dining area my eyes were driven to the broken wax. Oddly enough, it was the perfect seasonal decor. It represented life this side of Glory.
Frustration gets the best of me. Fear enters my heart. Heartbreak reduces me to tears. Frailty causes me to fracture.
I am broken and I need Someone bigger and stronger and more perfect than I. I need Jesus.
In those days, I was a young, tired mom of littles. And, though my children have aged, I find challenges in this life remain ever present. I still prepare the way with gratitude for Jesus. For our Savior gives us hope in the midst of an imperfect, challenging, not always picturesque life.
Thank you, God, for my girls and this memory.
Baby Jesus, come.
xx Melissa Nesdahl
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